Thursday, October 24, 2019

Batman and Robin (1997)

When I was in high school, I watched Batman and Robin instead of spending time with my mother when she needed it the most, and I will never live it down. When the ice skates came out, I wanted to kill myself.

This is the only movie I have ever felt guilty about watching, and it is not a guilty pleasure. Every childish scene is a slap in the face. It wastes your time. The Adam West Batman show had all-ages appeal. This is not that. This is shit. This is a reminder that comic book movies are shit and only reinforce the worst parts of American culture.

[Read more…]

Friday, October 18, 2019

Trash Humpers (2009)

Nobody really cares about boring films released decades ago. Certain films of the 20th century pride themselves in being different and detached from the nucleus of the Hollywood market, for all the self-congratulatory puff independent thought is worth.

In contrast, Trash Humpers is a relatively recent and poignant contribution to the postmodernist genre. Unlike Cassavetes, Korine held nothing back in delivering a spectacular mess of a film that knows what it is and speaks to its core audience. This one is good because it’s exactly what it says on the tin.

[Read more…]

Wednesday, September 25, 2019

Love Streams (1984)

Love Streams is an autobiographical documentary about John Cassavetes drinking himself to death. Financed by the esteemed Cannon Films, Cassavetes was given free rein to do whatever the hell he wanted, and the result is one of the greatest independent films to ever come out of Los Angeles.

Works of postmodernism such as this were unusual in America before the ’90s, so the support of a studio accustomed to producing overcooked Hollywood schlock makes the flick doubly unusual.

[Read more…]

Tuesday, September 10, 2019

The Hunt for Red October (1990)

Amazon founder and space entrepreneur Jeff Bezos recently tweeted about the upcoming second season of Jack Ryan. Jeff is a pretty cool guy; I like what he does and it’s always interesting to hear him speak. Amazon has also nailed the CIA subgenre with Patriot, one of the best shows on streaming. But Jack Ryan? Give me a break.

The filmmakers behind Jack Ryan have strayed far from their roots; The Hunt for Red October is about solving mysteries and making peace rather than blowing shit up. Rather than Jim from The Office, it stars a (relatively) young Alec Baldwin. It’s a sharper and more masterful film than every subsequent work that has beared the Jack Ryan name.

[Read more…]

Thursday, September 5, 2019

Angel Has Fallen (2019)

I saw Olympus Has Fallen (2013) with my father, I skipped London Has Fallen (2016), and I saw Angel Has Fallen with a friend. The third installment is full of references that most people over 40 would get. There were some chuckles in the mostly-empty theater. A bunch of things went boom.

The only thing that impressed me more than the action scenes was how little the film tried to be different or original. Ignoring the latest superhero crossover crap, this is cinema at its most mainstream. Eh, it’s not bad.

[Read more…]