Monday, December 19, 2022

Avatar: The Way of Water (2022)

As far as I’m concerned, an Avatar movie does not need to be 3+ hours long. This one treats the audience to the best VFX yet seen in a major motion picture. It’s 90 minutes of anti-war VFX, 90 minutes of anti-whaling VFX, and a few minutes in the part of a screenplay called “resolution” to tie up loose ends.

I don’t see the point of these big dumb Hollywood blockbusters. If this were 30 minutes shorter and had more than a dozen non-VFX shots, I might recommend it.

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Saturday, November 26, 2022

Triangle of Sadness (2022)

This one is a slightly overrated Euro comedy that proudly displays its Cannes laurels before the opening titles. It’s a thinker. It differentiates itself from the Adam Sandler school of comedy that we’re so accustomed to in America. It’s smarter than Barbarian and the latest Top Gun movie, but slightly less entertaining than either. In any case, I consider it one of the best films of 2022 so far.

The plot beats are external to the characters and have nothing to do with the characters, making them look like dumb apes that are passive in their environment. There is no active protagonist. The focus is not on any hero or antihero, just a bunch of people who get the shit kicked out of them by a world that is apathetic to their existence. It’s the furthest possible thing from American storytelling, and that’s probably why the Frenchies love it.

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Monday, October 31, 2022

Barbarian (2022)

This movie reminds me of Wrong Turn. The first half is an exquisite psychological thriller drama, and the second half is a cancel-culture-satire-inbred-zombie (spoiler) mishmash. The juxtaposition of pseudo-philosophical social commentary and total B-movie horror schlock works very well as comedy. I feel like the comedy was piled into the second half to make the film more marketable or explain the plot.

The movie sends messages, but the messages get muddled by scenes like a zombie beating a guy with his own severed arm. My main reaction to this movie is “what the fuck?” But I liked it, so good job.

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Sunday, October 2, 2022

Pearl (2022)

Girl meets boy, boy fucks off to WWI and leaves girl with her shitty German immigrant parents in the middle of Kansas, chaos ensues.

I don’t love or hate this movie, but it’s interesting to study. The film makes a valiant effort to present character melodrama with the vibrancy of multi-strip color. It achieves all that and more, but my biggest complaint with this performance-oriented picture is how the performances are put to film. The directing and editing soured my experience somewhat, and the film feels like it runs at least 10 minutes too long.

I went out of my way to appreciate this movie. The least it could do is entertain me, which it did in the first half. Then it bored the fuck out of me, so I call it break-even.

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Sunday, August 14, 2022

Bullet Train (2022)

This is a mixed bag if I’ve ever smelled one. I liked the actors and performances. I hated the direction and pacing. Maybe I have different tastes from the dumb hicks in the audience, but while they were lapping this schlock up I just wanted to catch the next train.

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